"I'm difficult?!" Astrid said as she turned sharply around on her heels. Her should stung with pain again at the motion but she ignored it as she stared at Godric. "Coming from someone whos been doing the exact same to me and not just tonight! I thought we could be friends, hell I was looking forward to having not just a friend but a drinking companion for once instead of being alone but you strung me along towards a different direction than sharply cut the string leaving me confused. I'm not twisting your words around half as much as you were already doing already. You were the one making it impossible both back in the tavern and now." Gone was her peaceful and polite cover, he had gotten under her guard once again and this time she pulled it off to give him exactly what he had been toying with.
She had been prepared to march right up to him, give him a taste of the fury he was feeding when his words suddenly had her stunned still. His profession vocally to what they had been feeling this whole time between them but neither felt like acting on it, finding as strongly as they wanted to give in to those desires and heated thoughts they both struggled to overcome the stress of what it would impact. Maybe he was feeling more of it than she was, she wasn't from a noble family or had the weight of a school on her shoulders but she knew the weight of responsibility and of lives depending on her for survival. It didn't mean they had to completely give up though, just find a way to make both work but it seemed his mind was determined to endure the self harm of it then see reason and that drove at her need to heal him. Heal him but not just from this battle he faced when it came to her and them, there was something else there and she thought back to their conversations back in the tavern.
Before she could get a word out though, he seemed done with their talk and turned to head for the door. Her feet moved automatically, bringing Astrid across the room and stopping right in front of Godric, blocking his escape from the infirmary. She gripped her wand in her hand as she faced him, seeing the frustration in his expression and her own reflected in his eyes. "Don't you dare think you get to leave after getting to say your peace. I didn't expect to find someone like you either. Someone who so easily and without effort could get under my guard and rattle the stable state I try to maintain. No ones ever done that before and it only feeds into this desire you keep causing in me to find out how its possible and why of anyone its you and only you."
"While I don't have as much weighing on my shoulders as you do if something were to happen but that doesn't mean you get to feed into it still then back away suddenly as if I'd just slapped you. You deserve things in life just as much as anyone else! Doesn't matter your position, its just a matter of adjusting so you can both do your duty while embracing what you deserve. Your saying I'm the difficult and obtuse one? Your the one harming yourself with this, I know your hurting more than just this and its causing that part of me to strive to find that pain and heal it away, I stubbornly don't want to give up until I can heal your pain no matter how much I'm hurting myself in return. I can't keep doing this back and forth tug of war anymore, you draw me in and make my heart race like no one before, bring up strong desires for more with you while you give off your own towards me but then you turn away and act like its not what you intended despite showing the exact opposite to your words" she said, unable to stop herself once the flood of words had been released. If this was to be their last encounter she was going to say her peace then, let nothing go unsaid before trying to remove him from her mind once he was gone.
Godric sneered at her accusation of him twisting her words. She was the one who had walked out on him! How could she possibly say that he was the one causing all the trouble. When he'd called her beautiful, she'd blown it out of proportion because she couldn't take a damn compliment! She could have called him handsome and he certainly wouldn't have walked away. He would have thanked her. That's what people did when you gave them a compliment!
And of course she didn't understand why they couldn't do this. Did he have to lay it out in simple words? Would that help? She seemed to have mastery of the English language but it likely wasn't the first she learned. And her voice was accented with the accent common to the Norse regions. Still, it seemed like she could understand him as she threw his words back in his face - and then some.
He was hurting? Ha! He was fine. He was happy! How could he not be? He was in Scotland with friends, at the start of their first school year. A decade of planning finally seeing fruition. Again, who wouldn't be happy about something like that?!
Godric grit his teeth, wanting to yell at her but that wouldn't help anything. Strangling back his temper, he shook his head simply. "I. Cannot.
"Do you know how it would look for an old man like me to be flitting around with a young woman of your age? I'm almost old enough to be your father.
"And don't tell me that it's fine; that it's part of life. I don't believe in saddling the young and beautiful with the old and infirm. It's a disgusting practice that I wouldn't allow for my own sister. Why would I try and push it onto someone else for my own pleasure?" Godric demanded.
"Second of all, I'm not certain how things work in your homeland but second sons do not marry. They either go to the church or the battlefield because they haven't the money for a wife or even a paramour. I certainly don't as what little money I have goes right into the school so that my friends and brother don't need to always cover for my debts." It was a lie. His money didn't come close to covering all the costs that he owed. He was just fortunate that his friends didn't seem to keep track of who contributed what and when and the like. Luckily, he would have summers off to make money any way that he could to try and keep up with the inheritances as well as the money that came in from their lands.
"As for self-harm," he narrowed his gaze on her, "You are one to talk. I saw you grab your shoulder but you said nothing. I kindly ignored the gesture, figuring it was a lengthy healing job that my fumbling fingers would be inadequate to deal with.My own wounds can be tended to with time.You may not be so lucky if you ignore that one - shoulders can be finicky."
11-18-2022, 06:32 AM (This post was last modified: 11-18-2022, 06:39 AM by Astrid Gudrun.)
There it was, his anger and emotion out in the open instead of held back. Astrid could feel it practically burning in the air around them as they faced off. Because it was not going to make her back down, instead it only pushed at her to keeping going and push harder right back at him.
"Do I know how it would look? Of course I do and honestly I see nothing wrong with it when it comes to us! I've seen larger age gaps in couples before, there is nothing scandalous or wrong with a few years difference between a couple so yes I'm going to say its fine and part of life. It only becomes wrong and disgusting when there is more than a twenty year gap between two people, the marriage is forced, and more often the girl is still a child herself. Last time I viewed myself in a mirror or looked back on my years of life, I would say I am far from the age of an innocent child and if I was going to start something romantic with someone it would be my choice. I had to grow up quickly at a young age, forced to face something a child shouldn't have to so forgive me if I don't share the same view you do in regards to me being to young. In fact I feel far older than my age given what trials I have been through but unlike you Im not going to use them as an excuse to avoid being honest with myself. I wouldn't bat an eye at what others would think anyway, most of the trading post at this point think I and my family are vikings. If anything I would be the shame brought to you not the other way around should something happen between us romantically" she explained, gripping her own anger back to keep her mind and words clear.
"So no I don't see anything wrong should something happen between us but apparently your the one who gets the only say on the matter. Last time I check, romance was something between two people and it was a shared experience when done for the right reasons. The only thing your 'pushing' on me is a load of horse dung about we can't because your older than me and because your a second son you can't get married."
She hadn't realized she had taken a small step closer to him, to wrapped up in trying to make him see reason he seemed to be blind to. "Whatever your convincing yourself in your head about whats so wrong about this isn't true. Your comparisons don't even make sense when I see you now. You look nothing like the so called old man you are assuming to be, your simply experienced and well traveled, a man that has seen the world and lived through good and bad while carrying a few scars but looks far too handsome to be a normal mortal man. You are far from the feeble old man image you are trying to cloak yourself in to give reason why something can't be between us. An old man wouldn't have done what you did tonight during that fight nor would they project the energy and life that you do when your excited and happy about something. Your in your prime of life, handsome, charming, and the very best example of what any woman would dream to have embrace her each and every moment day or night, there is nothing old about you nor will there be for many more years to come."
"As for marriage and money. First off, no one said we had to get married. If this was a romance between us we could go at our own pace, courting one another in our own way, and if marriage was something we wanted we could go for it when the time was right. Second, why would it matter to me whether you have money or not? If its not already apparent I don't exactly come from a life of wealth and luxury myself nor have I ever felt a need for one. So long as I have a roof and food for those depending on me I am just fine. I make due with what I have or find a way to earn it myself. And no thats not something we do in my homeland, its something I do because thats what I believe in. I don't need money to be someones wife or paramour, I would just need that person by my side and together we would figure out how we would survive and thrive going forward. Face challenges, debts, and rumors together."
Astrid could feeling her grip tighten on her wand in her hand. Stupid man! Stupid Stubborn man! Why couldn't he just see she didn't care about the formality of all this. If this strong feeling between them, fighting to be heard was something they needed to take hold of what did it matter if it looked improper to others, what mattered is what they thought, right? What business was it of anyone else if they wanted to exchange hearts despite their differences?
"Is it improper and impossible for something between us just because of our differences or is it because you don't want the one your heart really longs for to know you moved on to another?" Astrid asked after a short pause. She wasn't sure at first what made her say it but for some reason it came to her mind just then. It suddenly made sense why he was trying to use stupid excuses like age and money to explain why nothing could come from this strong desire between them. "Thats what this is isn't it. Its nothing to do with position, duty, age, or responsibilities. Your hurting for one you can't have so your trying to find a replacement but still remain hopeful the one you really want will come to you. You decided to find someone worthy of some physical desire to play around with emotionally while you waited, not caring how it affected them so long as it got you what you needed in the end. Well, don't let me stop you from the one you really desire. By all means maybe they can better understand your male stubborn stupidity and controlling ego, I for one don't have plans to be a temporary stand in for someone else at the cost of my feelings so you can count me out to fill that place for you."
"In fact let me free you from the desire and temptations that you feel for me now so you can have a clear mind when you go next meet with your desired paramour." Astrid suddenly reached up with her left hand, ignoring the pain in her shoulder from the movement as she grabbed hold of the front of his shirt and with one hard jerk she pulled Godric's face down towards her own as she leaned up to meet it part way, pressing her lips against his in a passionate kiss. It was hard not to sink into it as their lips melded together in those few short seconds, remembering the feeling of his arms holding her and wishing they were there around her again but she had to stay strong and resist it.
She pulled away after a few seconds, slightly out of breath but determined to give him what he wanted since he stubbornly wasn't going to see reason. Not just letting go of him, she raised her wand up to his face, directing the tip towards his broken nose then this mouth while quickly casting the episkey spell to heal the injuries to his face. Lowering her wand and letting him go at last, she roughly grabbed his uninjured hand next and shoved a small bottle of essence of dittany into his palm. She let it go only to grab the wrist of his injured hand and give it another episkey spell on his broken fingers to further mend them. "There, unless you have any other injuries that need my attention that is all of yours seen to and healed, be sure to take that essence of dittany before going to bed. While I could care not whether you darken my door again voluntarily or not do remember I am here to heal injuries and ailments of those in the school, mostly for students but that also includes yourself should you manage to rough yourself up again. We don't want the students to see you banged up and want to go playing heroic foolish knight by trying to imitate your actions, not to mention the female students that will be drawn to your desires if you are not more careful with expressing it."
Ok, maybe that last bit was an unnecessary jab at him but she was mad and maybe hurting a little. At this point she just wanted him gone before reality hit her emotions and she couldn't hold it in and out of sight anymore. She had tried to warn herself and more importantly her heart from doing something as stupid as trying to form some sort of connection to him but it did so anyway. She wasn't supposed to connect with someone emotionally like this, her priority was her job and her siblings above herself but of course it happened and maybe with the one person she wasn't supposed to or even deserved to.
"If you'll excuse me Sir Gryffindor, now that I have finished treating you I need to go finish treating myself before cleaning up for the night. And no I was not intentionally hiding it from you with the thought you would be incapable of healing it, I had every faith in you and your ability to help treat my injuries or I wouldn't have let you do what you did for me already without a bigger fuss" she said, trying to reign in her blended mix of emotions that was pressing against her heart and her eyes to be let out but she wasn't going to let them, not until he was gone and she had no witnesses to see her in such a vulnerable state.
"I simply put it off to the side temporarily because the injury to my head seemed a bit more important at the time. Not to mention I thought perhaps it would have made you uncomfortable to check and treat my shoulder given I would have had to remove part of my dress in order to properly look over the area in particular and put the both of us in an improper position should someone come in. I had even intention of getting it treated tonight, just perhaps with the help of a house elf after you left so I wouldn't have to put you in an uncomfortable position of doing it yourself when it seems like you are already in a state of discomfort around me. Not that you need to worry anymore, I'll be sure to avoid any further unnecessary interactions between us from now on. Goodnight Sir Gryffindor, hope the rest of your evening goes well."
Her piece had been said and if she stayed staring at him any longer she would be tempted to either say more or kiss him again. His scent was surrounding her, soaking into her nose and she needed to break free of it before she ended up doing something foolish again. Astrid calmly and without moving her gaze staring at Godric took a side step out of his path, then at last she turned away from him as she stepped past him heading in the direction of the back of room, her shoulder certainly wasn't going to treat itself.
Fine, if she didn't want to accept the possibility of his age being a problem or his status in life as a reason, what about the fact that she worked for him (well, a quarter of her did). That right there should have put up blocks on any plans they might have had on the matter.
The real problem was that she didn't see him as he was. No one really did. What no one knew was how talented he was at Transfiguration. If she saw him in reality, she certainly wouldn't see the young, handsome buck that stood before her today. She'd probably run screaming into the night, never to be seen at the school again. It was tempting to tell her; even more tempting to show her - let her see the real side of him that no one but his family had.
And then she accused him of carrying a flame for someone else and that was why he was pushing her off?! Seriously!
What did she know anyway? he thought grumpily. If that was the case, he wouldn't have slept with other women in the past.
Before he could argue any of her points, she grabbed his face and kissed him. For half a second, he froze, unsure about what to do. Their lips met and it was wonderful. She tasted of the honeyed mead from the tavern and something else that he couldn't place but didn't mind too much. Their lips met, matching almost perfectly. He recovered, kissing her back for less than a moment before she gently pushed him away and then had the nerve to heal him while he was reeling from the kiss.
How dare she go and do something like that! And then take advantage of him after doing so!
If that wasn't bad enough, then she brushed him off like nothing at happened. His head was a dizzy, his lips numb, and his heart beating fast. Maybe she hadn't been the only one with a head injury because a kiss had certainly never left him feeling like this.
It did have other effects, however, which meant that making a quick exit was vital. While staying and arguing with her would make him feel better, it might destroy things irreparably between them so it was best to make his exit now.
Stiffly, shifting his weight uncomfortably, he said, "Please do make certain that you do tend that shoulder." Though there was little of the angry heat in his voice. Instead, it was partial command but more of a plea than anything. "Thank you and good night then." He stood there for another moment or two, watching her cross the room and dismiss him so coldly. A strange contradiction to the heat of her kiss he could still feel.
One thing was for certain, sleep would be a long ways off tonight. Luckily, there was a wide forest out there to explore. Quietly he slipped out of the Infirmary and through the castle. By the time he reached the main door, Rhiannon was on his heels. Stepping outside, he closed the door and then shifted. Dashing across the lawn, he ran to where the Infirmary windows were. While the night was cool and the windows closed, he couldn't help but bay at it for half a minute, determined to get the last word in. Finally he and his fellow four-legged friend raced across the lawn to enter the safety of the forest.
Astrid paused part way across the room, knowing, no feeling his eyes staring at her back and she willed herself not to turn around. Not until she could be sure the bright flush of color was gone from her cheeks and her heart calmed down from the racing state it was pounding away at in her chest at what she had just done. She had kissed him, just kissed him after trying tell him off that she didn't want to be strung around as a makeshift replacement. And even more he hadn't pushed her away to stop but had joined in with the exchange for a few seconds before she had done the pushing away. And what an unforgettable exchange it was even if it was only a few seconds. There was the familiar taste of mead on his lips but something more but the exchange hadn't been long enough for her to get a good enough read on it.
Never had she thought to do that with Godric. Ok, maybe she had but it hadn't been out of anger like that. Astrid wasn't sure what had made her kiss him honestly. Part of her wanting to see if he truly was just lying to himself and he did want to do something about the desires between them. Maybe it was to make him truly mad with her, tell her off so she could be sure that nothing would ever happen, needing that harsh reality from him beyond the words he had already attempted to use to convince her. Yet even now he said nothing and she was wondering if she needed to brace herself for his response to her sudden kiss when he came at her and backed her against the wall fuming with anger as he yelled at her for her inappropriateness or perhaps in the other direction he decided that the short mildly heated kiss wasn't enough and wanting more, he ended up ravishing her against one of the walls to his hungry content. No, no that wasn't likely to happen. He was mad and his intent made clear he wanted nothing romantic and maybe after all this nothing at all to do with her outside their interactions as employee and boss.
Eventually Godric finally spoke, those few seconds of silence feeling like hours and what he had to say was a mixture of an order, a request, and a plea accompanied by the anger still burning inside him. She didn't say anything, remaining still and silent as she listened to each of their breaths before his foot steps carried him from the room and she was left by herself. Astrid resumed her steps forward, pausing by the table to pick up the pitcher of water and cloth he had been using to clean her face off.
It was now she finally turned and looked towards the closed door. Well, she had done it and she had her answer. Nothing could come of this blended desire of hers for something with him. He didn't want it or rather wouldn't let himself want it so she needed to give it up and move on then. He was a stubborn man and apparently would rather carry on with his lonely nights alone then give them a chance to see if the desires they felt were just physical need or if there was more there they could uncover and find together.
Astrid gripped the cloth tightly in her hand, unaware of the tears welling up in her eyes. Not until she felt a few tears glide down across her cheek leaving behind a warm wet trail. What the hell was she crying for? It wasn't like she was some lovesick girl that had her heart crushed or something. She had gotten her hopes up maybe, hard not to when it came to someone like Godric. She had never come across someone like him before, his looks, dashing and handsome in a rugged but attractive way but also hid away his age well making it seem like he was younger than he was. He had a decent head on his shoulders and a good heart in his chest though maybe a bit of a flirt but had a good sense of humor and a smile that warmed even the chilliest of nights. So what about all that suddenly drew her in so hard? Gave him the ability to get under the well place guard and rattle her stable state of mind and emotion? Made her for the first time in her life begin to think about the idea of finding someone to share the remaining years of her life with together.
The sounds of howls sharply brought Astrid back to the infirmary and out of her mind. She jerked around to look towards the windows, half expecting to see something staring back at her. Really though, they were up several floors so their was no chance of that happening. Still, the howls almost sounded like they were directed in her direction and as if they were a siren's call she moved across the room to the windows, brushing aside the curtains just enough to lean her face forward to look out at the grounds down below. At first she didn't see anything, the area too dark now so late into the evening but then she took note of something just at the edge of the trees, an animal of some kind dart into the cover of the forest but it was to dark and whatever it was had moved too quickly to see clear enough just what it was. She didn't recall hearing if there were wolves or dangerous creatures in the nearby forest and she could only assume the founders had thought of some kind of ward to keep them away and the students safe.
Wondering if she was just imagining the whole thing, her mind a shambled mess after what just happened, Astrid let go of the curtain and stepped away from the window. Turning around she walked back across the room to her desk, subtly wiping away the tears from her face along the way. Despite saying she would get the help of a house elf to assist with her shoulder, she didn't and instead took care of it herself with a few episkeys then applying an herbal paste to the area as best as she could. It wasn't perfect but at least if the joints or muscles had been damaged both would be taken care of between the healing spell and herbal mixture on her skin. With some luck she would even avoid a bruise forming on the area.
She looked around the room while pondering if she should go to bed now that her injuries had been treated and she had finished cleaning the blood from her face and hair. No, there was no way she was going to be sleeping tonight, dreams of impossible scenes would play through her mind all night but at least she had a few potions she could make, some herbs to grind up, and then write down some notes that perhaps would occupy her through the night. At the very least maybe keep a certain someone off her mind for the rest of the evening.
